Palliative Drug

Get these thoughts out of my head!

Slap Kick Punch!

on 28 June 2010

I’m going to go crazy!!! *pulls out some of my hair while munching on homemade bread*.. I’m going to blog abt everything that sucks in my life in this present moment.

First of all, was down with a bad bad bad sore throat. Lots of antibiotics & cough syrup. Pee smelt of anitibiotics, I almost fainted each time the smell hits me. Cough syrup was delicious & emotionally satisfying though.

Work is going well except for this one time whr I forgot to send out the farewell email to this resigned lawyer on his last day. Then this guy actually sent out the farewell email to himself. omg. Everyone’s saying he was being sarcastic & ungentlemanly, but boils down to the core of it, it was essentially my error. And my error cause him to turn into an ugly person. Poor guy had to thank himself for his own services & contributions. I blame the cough syrup that made my brain function below normal.

Then there’s Facebook that is taking over my life. It’s like the only connection I have with ppl. I wish I could meet up with them, but they are either busy or I’m busy, or they prefer to leave the house late, but the timing that they choose to leave the house is actually about the time I’m getting ready for bed. They dun understand that old ppl like myself do not have the stamina to stay awake past 11pm.

Dislike the fact that my work area is super silent. Everyone around you can hear an embarrassing fart if you happen to let go one…. errmm… not that… i hv ever given out an… embarrassing fart or farts, but what I’m trying to say is IF i had to let out any bodily gas, it would be embarrassing becuz everyone can definitely hear it. The whole place is so quiet that even if you had scratch your armpits, they would be able to recognize the tone & pitch of it and will be able to identify it as armpit scratching… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … OH ALRIGHT I ADMIT IT. I did let go an accidental & very embarrassing “booitt”. Maybe not so accidental, but I didn’t expect my asshole passageway to not be able to loosen up enough at that moment to release an airy & almost silent “pfffff”. Instead, it had to be all tensed up & went “booitt”. To be more accurate, it was more of a “booitt..t..t..tttttt”. Sigh.

I hv been in search for a new pair of nice & comfy shoes. But notice how hard it is to find shoes that dun disfigure your feet or toes? I especially hate covered shoes becuz for some reason, my middle toe always get a painful blister in the exact same spot all the time. And my 2nd toe is twisted in this weird manner whr its head tilts towards Big Toe & it rotates abt 20 degree towards Big Toe as well. Imagine tat. It either likes Big Toe a lot… or it was a result of a childhood insecurity whr I purposely wore smaller size shoes so tat my kangaroo feet would either (1) stop growing or (2) look smaller than it shd be or (3) both. One day, I will take a picture of it when I hv finally gotten over my insecurities… which I do have a lot.

I should also keep reminding myself that there are ppl who are just looking for emotional support & not looking for the Voice of Reason. Stop offending ppl, bitch. “You can’t handle the truth”, says Tom Cruise. I must rmbr that.

Nobody wants to go Universal Studios with meeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Everyone’s afraid of malfunctioning of the rides. Although enough ppl hv died in Fantasy Island for it to close down, we shd all hv faith that Universal Studios will be different. Right??? RIGHT??? What could happen? Final Destination is JUST a movie. *sudden cold breeze*… brrrrrrrrrrrrrr… ying1 fong1 zhen4 zhen4… …. realize how movies are always based on human fears?

I’m quite sure my greatest fear would be… … … i dunno. Balding? Shitting my pants in public? Peeing in public again? again???  yes, again. I peed in public before. i’m not even talking abt pulling your pants down & hiding behind bushes to do it. And I’m not referring to the age whr mummy potty-trained me. I shall now reveal the one secret tat nobody knows (not even my shadow becuz it was so traumatising that I covered my shadow’s eyes so she couldn’t see). The truth is…………….. I… HAVE… PEED… IN PUBLIC when I was like… 14 or 15 yrs old or something. It’s the age whr you’re not expected to lose any control over your bladder activities in public. On the floor of a video rental store in Potong Pasir. THERE! I SAID IT! Dun judge me. It has never happened again. I swear. It will probably happen again in 40yrs’ time on my deathbed. But not at tis very moment. I do still wonder if the store assistants in tat video rental store ever realized whr tat pool of water was from.


I’m playing Amateur Surgeon on iPhone. It’s a very disturbing game. You get to cut ppl up, staple their wounds, burn it & apply lotion on it, electrocute them, saw their body parts up, give them injections by selecting cockscrew + lotion, etc etc (trust me, all these are actually to save their lives). I hate it when I proceed to dream abt all that when I’m sleeping. It’s like… I’m still playing Amateur Surgeon repeatedly over & over again. Then when I wake up, I feel nothing enjoyable abt that game on iPhone anymore. Same thing happened for The Sims, Command & Conquer, Angry Birds, Plants vs Zombies, etc etc. I think my dreams are taking away all the fun in everything I do in the day. ND is probably wishing that I would dream abt physically abusing him so that I’ll leave him alone in the day.

hmm… let’s see what else sucks in my life. BODY HAIR. Nobody shd hv hairs apart from the top of your head, eyebrows & eyelashes. I guess nostril hairs & ear hairs are ok becuz they have to block dirt out. But hairs on hands / arms / fingers / body / legs / toes / pee pee area / armpits / any other weird places (like nipples & butthole or crack?) are not appetizing on a girl. Plus girls dun reap any benefits from having body hair.

Stupid UOB doesn’t wan to release my 5k in this investment thingy! You said you’ll only lock my 5k for 3yrs… and in the end, it became 5yrs!! And who knows, after that 5yrs, they decide it’s funny & lock it up for another 5yrs. GO TO HELL, UOB!!! RELEASE MY 5000 NOW!!! Mental Note to Self: must learn from experience & only believe in fixed deposits (tat are not from UOB… … bias already).

The ends of my hair tend to frizzle up & turn curly. I shd take a pic of what it looks like. I used to cut the ends whenever I see farked up ones, but I can’t do it now becuz of this Mean Little Old Lady (MLOL) at my new workplace. In the past, whenever I feel tat my fingernails are causing discomfort when I’m typing on the keyboard, I would whip out a nail clipper & clip clip clip then toss the nails into the dustbin. Or when I’m looking down at some documents & this strand of farked up hair happens to be in my line of vision, I would grab a scissors & snip it then toss the hair into the dustbin. BUT… ever since MLOL enters my life with rumors of her voodoo magic & love for searching thru our garbage, I hv refrained from doing all these snipping & cutting & clipping. It’s not that I believe in voodoo magic or being superstitious or what…. but I’m a great believer in “Prevention is better than Cure”. So just in case voodoo is true & real in this world, I might as well avoid letting her cast a spell on me. Tat creepy Mean Little Old Lady. But apart from not being able to freely cut my hair or nails at work, she has brought much entertainment to my life. Too bad I’m not able to post her picture here. All I can say is you’ll be surprised at how creepy she looks in real life. Mean’ness is written all of her pale flawless white skin. Dun think she has any eyelashes. Nor conscience.

Wondering also, why can’t life be more like the Sims. Where if you want to grow up faster, just press Speed 3 & time will pass in fast forward motion. And if you’re already rich in experience & leading a great life, you can drink this green liquid thing called the Elixer of Life & you’ll become younger by a fraction. Pregnancy only lasts for a week or so. Babies are born from the diamond-shaped icon above your head & then fall nicely into your arms.

ARGH. Lower backache now. I’m going to buy some Salonpas.


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